Why One Should Never Eat Mushrooms Before Bed
by Ramarama
Summary: Oh no! The curse is back, stronger than ever. But worse than that, Ella is surrounded by people willing to take advantage of it. Can she fight it off again, or will there be dastardly deeds done? But wait a minute... what? ONE SHOT


A/N: Okay, this is kind of backward – I've got several long stories plugging away, but I made the mistake of watching 'Ella Enchanted' with my little sister, and then of course I had to go re-read the book. A real trip down memory lane, I haven't read it since I was like twelve. But anyway, I needed to write a quick little fluffy fic – it was blocking out my others. So in honor of the hotness of Hugh Dancy, the coolness of the book, and living and loving happily ever after, I sat down and wrote this. It mixes book world with movie world, sort of oddly, but it amuses me. So enjoy and if you could leave me a review I'd be much obliged.

DISCLAIMER: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.

WARNINGS: Character death…um, sort of. It makes sense when you read it. Implied married-coupleness. Um, if you didn't get that then you're too young to get what's implied in the story, so no worries.

The early morning light found Ella and Char standing on the battlements of the castle – she couldn't quite think of it as her new 'home' yet. But the way things had been going, she decided that realization would be a nice one. Ella glanced over at her husband – now _that_ was an idea she embraced easily – as he stared out over the green expanse of what would soon be his kingdom.

She had always thought Char was attractive, but the time they had spent together in the months leading up to their wedding and this last week since then, had made every pale scar, every slight freckle, every adorable dimple so much dearer to her. The wind blew his curly locks in his eyes, and he flipped them back with the flick of his head that was now so familiar.

As if he could sense her eyes on him – which he probably could – Char turned and met her gaze with a fond smile. "Ella," he breathed softly into the warming strains of the morning. He clasped her hands in his larger ones and brought them gently to his lips. "I love you, dearest." He murmured, the words tickling over her knuckles. Ella smiled at him, as the winds blew her cloak out behind her and whipped her hair in a merry dance. She was about to reply, when-

"Ella! Stop that this instant!" A harsh voice shrieked, one she knew well. Dame Olga was standing behind them, and to Ella's horror, she felt the familiar compulsion thrust her hands out of Char's startled grasp, and her mouth close on her words.

"El-la…" Hattie's syrupy voice added, from right at Ella's shoulder. "Tell His Highness that you don't love him…"

"I-I don't love you." The words were out before she could stop them – she was out of practice at resisting the curse. Shock steam-rolled across Char's face, then disbelief and hurt. "What?"

"Say it again, Ella." Hattie simpered.

Ella screwed up her face in an attempt to keep the words in, but it was no use. "I…I d-don't…loveyou."

"B-but…" Char seemed to be unable to see Dame Olga or Hattie, just looked at Ella in horror.

"Tell him that you did elope and marry while he was away in Ayortha, that you divorced, but now you want your ex-husband back."

Ella fought every word, but they popped out nonetheless, and each one hit Char like a physical blow until he looked like he would cry. "Stop it!" She screamed at the harpies taunting her. "_Stop it!_ I broke the curse! You can't order me around anymore! You _can't!_"

Dame Olga and Hattie broke into cruel cackles of mirth. "Silly Ella! Did you really think you'd broken the curse? You can't break it, that's why it's a _curse!_ You'll _never_ be free!"

"Wh-what?" Ella stammered. "No! No more orders! I broke it, I _did!_" Frantic, she turned to Char. "You remember, you were there! I broke it!"

Lucinda appeared in a puff of lilac smoke that choked Ella's nose and mouth. "I'm sorry dear, but you didn't. It's back worse than ever. You can't break it, they're right."

"NO!"

"_Yes!_" cackled Hattie, and Olive appeared behind her sister. "Tell him to give you money as a divorce settlement."

"G-give me money as a…divorce settlement."

Char grabbed her hands earnestly. "You're joking, Ella. This is a joke!"

"Char, it's not-"

"Stop Ella." Dame Olga cut in, before Ella could get out that all-important 'me'.

A dark man with a snake curled around his shoulders walked up to Ella, smiling maliciously. "Ella, my dear. Take this," he held out a sharp dagger, "and plunge it into his heart."

Horrified, Ella stared at the strange man, and then at her traitorous hand that was reaching out to take the weapon. "NO! No, I won't! _Char!_" she screamed. Then the dagger was in her fist, and the curse grabbed her full-force. Her legs marched her ever closer to her beloved, and the knife glinted in her hand, extended towards Char's chest.

"W-what? Ella, what are you doing?" Char backed up towards the edge of the parapet, eyes wide. "Surely you can't mean…"

"Run, Char! Get away!"

"B-but Ella, what…"

"Quiet, dear." Snipped Dame Olga. "No more talking now, just do the deed."

"No, I _won't!_"

Then there were people clustered all around her, leaving a clear space only in the shape of a path to the horrified Char. Her mother, her father, Mandy, King Jerrold and Queen Daria, Slannen, Uaaxee, NiSSh, SEEf, Koopooduck, and some strange knights in padded red armor she never seen before. And more crowded in behind them – Elves, Ogres, Giants, Fairies, Humans – until the screaming cacophony was deafening. But Ella could still understand them – they were only shouting two words. "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DOITDOITDOITDOIT_DOIT!_!"

Her feet were mechanically marching her closer and closer to Char, though his figure blurred as tears spilled over her cheeks. The curse was beating at the fragile walls of her mind, dragging her right up to her husband. The dagger was out, poised above his chest, shaking. For a minute she wrestled with the curse – she _had_ beaten it, she HAD – and then all she could see were Char's pleading eyes, and all she could feel was the sharp dagger sliding between his ribs.

"El…la…" he gasped, and staggered back, looking back and forth between her and the dark red stain spreading quickly across his loose shirt. "W-_why?_"

"Tell him you hate him." Hattie's sharp voice cut in, and the iron fist of the curse clamped around Ella's voice box.

"N-no…Hattie…"

"Tell him, Ella." Commanded Dame Olga.

"I…I h-hate…y…you…"

Char's beautiful lively eyes filled with pain, and then dulled, as he sank slowly to his knees, and then toppled over.

"_NO!_" the scream tore from Ella's throat as she crumpled to his side, desperately staring into his lifeless face. "_CHAR!_" But her cries were lost among the screaming mass. "ELLA! ELLA! ELLA! ELLA! ELLA!"

"_Ella!"_

With a gasp, Ella sat up. "_No! Char!_" The tears streaming down her face blurred her vision enough that it took her a second to realize where she was. Which was, in fact, her bedroom.

"Ella? Are you all right?"

With a gasp, she turned, and there was Char, alive and whole. He was sitting next to her in bed, a worried frown creasing his handsome face. The sheets were twisted around his legs, but left his bare chest exposed – which was thankfully free of both gushing blood and sharp knives. "_Char!_" She lunged forward and wrapped him in a tearful hug, taking deep shuddering breaths of his musky and oh-so-familiar scent.

"Hush…" He murmured into her hair. "It's all right, I'm here." His callused hands rubbed her back in gentle circles, and slowly her sobs ceased.

"Y-you're not _dead_…"

Since her face was resting in the crook between his neck and shoulder, she felt his voice thrum against her – verifying that he was not a ghost or imagined specter. "No, I'm perfectly alive. You were having a nightmare, dearest. That's all, just a bad dream. It wasn't real."

Still feeling a bit shaky, she shifted over so she was sitting half on his lap. "It was horrible…the curse…the curse was back." Char was silent, rubbing his hands up and down her arms, and she leaned back into his comforting warmth. "And…_everyone_ was commanding me…they made me say things to you…and…and…I _had_ to…" She took a deep shuddering breath. "I had to kill you. With a dagger, right here." She tapped his left pectoral. "And all the blood…and you still didn't believe…and…oh, Char!" She squeezed her eyes shut and turned blindly into his strong embrace. "I'm so sorry…I couldn't…I _had_ to…"

His deep laugh rumbled through her body. "It's all right, love. I understand. Thankfully, it was just a dream, and you didn't _actually_ kill me."

Suddenly worried, Ella drew back. "Order me to do something."

Char smiled. "Tell me you don't love me."

She waited for the omnipresent grasp of the curse to descend on her, and when it never came, she broke out into a smile. "No! I won't say it! Because I _do _love you!" She leaned forward and kissed him gratefully.

He laughed into her mouth and his strong arms eased her body into his embrace. "I'm glad you love me, Ella. Because I love you, and it would be a shame if we had gone through all this wedding bother for nothing."

Ella smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know, in my dream, Dame Olga and Hattie made me tell you that I wanted a divorce, and Olive made me tell you that I wanted money as a settlement."

Char chuckled and kissed her nose. "She would. And, out of curiosity…" He kissed her forehead, then each of her eyelids. "Who ordered you to kill me?"

She wrinkled her nose, which made Char laugh again kiss the appendage again. "It was some man I'd never seen before. He was dark, and he had this massive staff thing with a ridiculous ball inscribed with an 'E', and a snake around his shoulders."

Char frowned. "Hmmm…that sounds like my uncle Edgar. Don't worry though, he's away in a safe place."

"A safe place?"

"Yes," he coughed awkwardly. "We had some trouble with him. You see, every royal family has a Mad Uncle or two, and well…he's ours."

"Oh!" Ella blinked. "I never knew you had one. What did he do?"

Char coughed again. "We…try not to talk about him. He had this thing about snakes…thought they were talking to him…" He scratched his head, then smiled. "Let's talk about something more pleasant, shall we?"

"Mmmm…" Ella stroked her chin, pretending to think about it. "Or, we could do something that doesn't require talking…"

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I _command_ you."

"As Her Highness wishes…"

A/N: Ah, now that I've got that out of my system, maybe I can go back to my serious fics.


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